 | "When" Carranza Whips Our U.S.A.This postcard features a poem which mocks the boast made by one of Carranza's generals that Mexico would easily beat the United States in another war. The title of the poem is " 'When' Carranza Whips Our U.S.A." and it is copyrighted 1916. On reverse: handwritten message. Author's Note.--Recently one of Carranza's generals, while
addressing a large gathering of Mexicans, remarked that in the event
of war between the United States and Mexico, the latter could easily
win. The following poem was written to show "when" the First Chief and
his adherents will do such a thing.
When the lion eats grass like an ox
And the fish-worm swallows a whale,
When the tarapin knits woolen sox
And the hare is outrun by the snail;
When the serpents walk upright like men
And doodle-bugs travel like frogs,
When the grasshopper feeds on the hen
And feathers are found on hogs;
When thomas cats swim in the air
And elephants roost upon trees,
When insects in summer are rare
And snuff never makes people sneeze;
When fish creep over dry land
And mules on velocipedes ride,
When foxes lay eggs in the sand
And women in dress take no pride;
When Dutchmen no longer drink beer
And girls get to preaching on time,
When the billy-goat butts from rear
And treason no longer is crime;
When the humming-bird brays like an ass
And limberger smells like cologne,
When plow-shares are made out of glass
and the hearts of our Texans are stone;
When all sense leaves the American head
And we no longer have Uncle Sam,
Then, only then, U.S.A. will be dead,
And we'll forever and ever be damned.
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